absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
