I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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