There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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