I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
