i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize