omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
