I'm drive I can fine osifer
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
