Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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