I want to walk on stilts...naked
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
