I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
porn star boner night. come get it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
sex in a hospital.. check
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
