for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
