That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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