Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
