Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
