I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I am midnight drunk by noon
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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