DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
