Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
