So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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