Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
