I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
organizing the empties. That sober.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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