"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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