i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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