I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
