I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just had sex on a roof
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
