brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
