btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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