I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I love having hate sex.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's shark week go big or go home
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
