return my video game
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
