I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
