My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
