so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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