oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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