yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
