What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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