I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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