that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
