Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
