Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
