I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
