He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
