he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
