i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
