I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
