so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
