I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize