Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
