It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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