69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
