worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
