the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
